My ever evolving mindset is evolving

March 30, 2020

My ever evolving mindset is evolving

I’ve spent a lot of my life living the life I was expected to live. I’m not sure why, but when I was little, I believed in the Prince Charming coming to save me dream. I waited on my Prince Charming. I waited, and waited, and waited. I stopped waiting at some point and realized I didn’t need saving.

I decided at some point to live my life the way I want to live it. Living my life the way I want to live it requires me to change my mindset from conformity to society into doing what makes me comfortable and happy.

Most of my adult life I followed the rules on dating (your mate needs to be the same race, older and taller than you). Nonsense and very limiting rules and if I"m being honest, I don’t know where they came from.

I followed the rules of life. (I got married, had a kid and got a house and car). Another set of nonsense rules.

I followed the rules of rearing my daughter (get her into a church). Ditto

I followed the rules for working, I got a degree in Early Childhood Education because as a single parent I wanted to be home with my daughter as much as I could. And with a teaching degree, I could do that. I could take her to school with me and be out with her on holidays and school breaks. This mindset turned out well for me except for one thing. I HATED working in education.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve come to realize I’m not happy following rules that are set by society and culture. I’m a law-abiding citizen, but I like to do my thing my way.

For instance, if I date, race, age, and height don’t matter. I realize none of those are important. What’s important to me is simple: do you make me laugh and do we respect each other? There are other factors, but none are as silly and limiting as to the rules I believed when I was younger.

Getting married and having a house and car turned out to be a bust for me too. I’ve mentioned before how much I hated having a mortgage. Even today the thought of a mortgage makes me feel trapped and anxious. My dream is to have an apartment above a bar!! I want an apartment right above a bar so I can go to that bar during the day to day drink. I want to know the bartenders and I want them to know me. I want to feel like I imagined Norm felt on the sitcom Cheers. When I walk into the bar, I want the regular staff and patrons to greet me by name.

I took my daughter to church a lot when she was small. When she got older, she asked me why I made her go to church. I told her I did what I thought I needed to do and what I was told was the best way to rear a child. Boy was I wrong. If I’m being honest, I didn’t like going to church that much and after a while stopped going. Being an honest, caring, kind person doesn't come from going to church, it comes from what's in your heart.

My thinking has evolved a lot as the years have progressed and I'm especially proud of that. Especially when I think of how I used to see the world.

One of the most obvious changes in my thought mindset and evolution is my casual wardrobe. Since I’ve been quarantined, I’ve come to realize one thing, my casual wardrobe is basically the wardrobe of an eight to 14-year-old boy. My casual wardrobe would make a boy in that age range jealous!

Most of my tee shirts are graphic tees of Batman. I have three graphic tees that are not related to anything Batman. I have more at home in the States, but the ones I brought here are Batman themed.

My jewelry selections are diverse and I have Batman-themed jewelry. Every single watch I own (except for one) is Batman themed. I own about seven or eight watches. My goal is to acquire more Batman themed jewelry.

I have Batman dishes, towels, socks, pants, and underwear. I plan on finding and acquiring Batman-themed shoes before the year is over.

As gifts, I give Batman-themed clothes, books, and accessories to the children in my life. I love me some Batman.

I don’t know if it’s good or bad, but since moving here in August, I’ve had a Batman-themed birthday party, gotten NICE Batman luggage and had a NICE Batman picture made for me. And I didn’t have to tell one friend how much I love the Caped Crusader, they knew from my wardrobe (I’m guessing).

Living my life my way has resulted in me being happy and truthful with myself. I still have some obstacles to hurdle, but I’m almost there.

One more thing: when I get that apartment above the bar, I will have one bathroom and one bedroom dedicated solely to Batman decor. If you come and stay with me, you will have the privilege of sharing my love for Batman because those rooms will be yours while you are visiting me.

I’ll leave the porch light on for ya!!!!