Change is not always good (at least for me)

MY CBD Supplements 

I get anxious sometimes. I always have and probably always will. I love my wine, but I’ve come to realize I probably don’t need to drink wine every single evening before going to bed. Besides, it won’t take much to make me dependant on my most favorite beverage of the evening. And I’m not sure if it would be the best decision to combine my night wine with my morning Baileys/coffee.

I sometimes take CBD supplements for my sleepless nights and anxiety. I love me some CBD. I recently decided to try some edibles. The edibles I purchased was simple:  hard candies and some dried leaves for tea. I don't know if dried leaves would be considered edibles, but I'm including them in my shortlist anyway. They help me have those restful, peaceful nights of sleep that elude me so often. It doesn't make me groggy in the morning and it's not addictive. 

 But you know me: I can never leave well enough alone: Let me explain............

One night after about a week of not sleeping well I decided to try an edible. The kind of edible doesn’t matter.  Why? Because when I visited Amsterdam a few years back I tried a space cake. A space cake is an edible cupcake. Mine was chocolate and it had no icing on it. It was good. I ate the entire cupcake and had no reaction. I figured I’d have the same none eventful experience with my second edible. I thought, what could go wrong? Don’t judge me, that’s how my mind works.

After about an hour after eating my edible I effortlessly dozed off for (what I thought) was the night. 

I suddenly woke up with a ‘water’ tickle in my throat. Normally a water tickle wouldn’t wake me, but this tickle was intense. I got up and walked to the kitchen for a glass of cool, hydrating nighttime water. After drinking the water I stumbled as I was returning back to bed. I didn’t think much about the stumble, I figured I was being my clumsy self and stumbling over my own feet. I laid back down and dozed off again.

I’m not sure how long I was asleep, but I was once again startled awake when the urge to go to the bathroom forced me to stand up and walk again. Going to the bathroom at night is normal for me, so it didn’t surprise me that I had to go. What did surprise me, however, was how HARD it was to walk a straight line into the bathroom. The walk from where I was sleeping to the bathroom is literally a straight line. My attempt to go straight toward the bathroom resulted in me continually going to the left side of the room. In what must have been one of the longest trips to the bathroom of my life, I finally made it to the desired space where I needed to be so I could sit upon the prized throne I so desperately sought.  

I'm almost 100% sure I fell asleep on the throne because I was startled awake by the incredibly loud pounding of my heart in my ears. I thought to myself, “Geez, I can hear my heart beating in my ears. Especially the right ear.” I got off the throne to go back to bed and this time I was smart about walking back. I made sure to touch every space of the wall to support myself to guide me back to bed. It was a long, crooked, dizzy, and stumbling walk back, but I successfully made it!! Plus I'm a genius. 

I tried to go back to sleep again. This time wasn’t successful because I realized the beating of my heart was louder than when I woke up from my toilet nap. I sat up because I knew (in my head) that sitting up would stop my heart from beating so loud and fast. Yeah…..that didn’t work. I could hear and feel my heart beating so fast I thought it was coming out my chest. So I grabbed what I thought was my heart because grabbing my heart would definitely slow down the beating and make the loud sound quieter. Now that I think about it, I think I was grabbing my left boob thinking it was my heart. I'm not entirely sure of but one thing; the heart is not on the left side of the body where I was trying to slow down the fast, loud beating. Again, don’t judge me.

After what I’m sure was a few minutes of trying to slow down my heartbeat and quiet it down, I decided to drink more water. So I did. Drinking more water resulted in me dozing off, being startled awake, and going back to the bathroom - which resulted in more toilet naps. This vicious cycle went on All. NIGHT. LONG. 

I prayed to The Almighty not to let me die on the couch and have my daughter find me dead. And more importantly, I have not paid for my cremation.  I wasn't ready to die. All I could see in my mind was my chest being swollen from my heart pumping too hard and too fast and my body giving up because it could not keep up with my fast pumping heart. Besides, I haven't been exercising a lot so I figured my body wasn't in the best of shape.  

Needless to say, the night was NOT uneventful and I did NOT have a restful, peaceful sleep. I was so tired the next day I took and all day ‘nap’.

I’ll stick with the edible candies and tea I purchased and be happy with those results.

Thank you very much.